Father’s Day and Single Mother’s

Ladies it’s time for us to stop that trying to say that we play both roles when reality is that the only thing that we are doing is creating a complex in the minds of children. I know being a single parent you feel like damn I have to play the mamma and the daddy but truth is your only doing the dual income expectation.

What I have learned over the years is that for as much as I don’t need a man my young son does. While to me in the past I didn’t think that there was anything a man could provide for him that I couldn’t the truth is that the belief is false even if I had a daughter it would still be false. Men provide an image to follow to for young boys kind of like there out line on how to treat women and work ethics and just how to be (even if they don’t copy everything or even use it in their adult life). With young girls it teaches them what kind of man to accept how he needs to treat her and what to look for or what not to look for. However, we have changed this idea and given our children our interpretation which at times is more negative than positive.
How can one expect their young daughter not to follow in their footsteps by saying well men is no good and they are all liars? Or how can we expect the young men to be better if we are telling them that most of the men in their lives are liars and etc. If they are, are we leading or being the best example by telling them that? Have we shown them the best by being bitter and upset at being a single parent or not having the help from the other parent? I am not saying it’s easy. I mean it’s hard for me too But it wouldn’t be right if I only spoke negatively to him about his father or help him grow as a man to be a better man. If I has a daughter how could I expect her to demand for better or want better if I am already telling her nothing but negative things (or even allowing her to see me with someone who treats me bad). That’s me setting her/ or my son up with limitations and for as long as you do that nothing will ever change. Your words and your idea’s and actions affect your children great deal ladies.

Now ladies I am not saying go out there and just get with one or stay with one just so that they can have but if you’re putting any figure into your child’s life you need to make sure that it is a quality man and not every man is that, nor do you have to be in a relationship with them (romantic) to have a good figure around your child. Look at all that man has to offer and where they are who they keep around them and whether their value systems match yours or not before you jump and let them into your child’s life and yours for that matter.
We set the example on how we want to be treated on how we want our men to treat our kids and so on (not all the blame lies on them) if we accept a man who has other kids and ignores them and expect our children to be treated differently or if we are loose women and allow our sleeves to be treated a certain way. I don’t want my ladies to think that I am in any way bashing us because I believe we can do better and we need to be better for our children and I know that we can we just have to wake and see that.

Father’s day is for those who are dads not for us. And once again while we magically believe that we play both roles it is impossible for us to do and the reality is as a single mothers we are only playing one role and sometimes barely that when you have to work go to school and etc. Financially your two people but solely we are just one person and will need a better half (father, step father, brother, cousin, uncle, grandfather) to help us the rest of the way.